Abecedarian For a Doctor’s Advice on Menopause ~ Lynn Aprill

A woman might expect to experience:
Brain fog
Changes in body odor [reminiscent of your teenage years]
Dry, itchy skin
Electric shocks [as a precursor to]
Flashes [hot and cold]
Gum problems [as in receding]
Headaches [tension and migraine]
Joint pain [a sudden desire to own a]
Low self-esteem 
Mood swings
Night sweats [with subsequent changes of bedding]
Palpitations [as of the heart] [an increased longing for]
Quaint villages [with quirky coffee shops and pottery studios]
Reduced sex drive [Sure, it’s ALWAYS the woman]
Sleep disturbances
Trouble judging distances [Seriously?]
Weight gain [Enough, already!] Take a
Xanax [and calm down?]You’ll find your
Zen again–after all, it’s all in your head.